When I visited Guangzhou 10 years ago, I was not lying when I said the pollution was so bad it turned the air green. This photo is not edited. You cannot see past the height of the street lamp because of the 'city butter.' That's my term for the film on your skin at the end of a sticky, smoggy day!

Cute. Rotund, brightly-coloured...generally happy. What ARE these? An array of piggy banks, coffee mugs, and other generally impractical but interesting stationary pieces sold at an underground subway mall that is similar to the PATH (for those of you from Toronto).

So I'm going to talk about the concept of 'cute' here. Why is it done? I haven't figured it out yet. How? Everywhere. Just absolutely everywhere here. The girls embrace it. Clothes are frilly and laced with bows and flowers, all pastel in colours. Car seats...yes, adult car seats, have doily-laced flowery seat covers. Umbrellas are adorned with flowers. Toys look chubby and huggable. In fact, it seems, mainly from a female standpoint at least, the women here favour looking like prepubescent, underdeveloped girls, putting up two fingers to pose 'cutely' in a photo, wearing everything in an 'adorable' fashion. This pretend-innocence is something a Westerner is not used to. Especially if said Westerners are used to getting flashed R-rated images and raunchy 'sexy' ads overtly from the moment they learn to speak. This over-the-top girliness really seems to be the opposite of what we're exposed to. However, I do not believe for a moment it makes the Chinese any less scandalous. It just means they are more covert about it. Which just makes them more crafty! My conclusion? I could never ever fit into their preference of frilly femininity, but humans are all just as scandalous, whether it's lace or leather.

Of course everyone has a certain perception of how certain cultures act, regardless of the context. That's just a fact. To ignore that is...well, ignorant, in my opinion. What's interesting is when you see first hand how others think you'll act--or the things they think you like. Take this fine establishment, for example. A bunch of us went there this weekend. It was quite high-end. However, it seemed to be a themed sports bar. All the bartenders were in soccer jerseys. There was also a giant screen playing soccer. The furniture and decor, though, was extremely fancy chandeliers and 18th century European style couches, walls and sidings. In fact, the contrast was so kitschy, I wasn't quite sure how to make it out. It seemed as if they decided to shove everything they knew that was remotely Western into one: sports, European furniture and English music. That is, they did this without taking into account differences between Westerners in a Westerners' own culture.

I do often believe that variations within your own culture can be greater than those between other cultures. Seeing this example reminded me of that. Maybe I haven't been exposed to enough places here to find out what the East really thinks of the West...but to me, it seems like all the ingredients are right, it just tastes different. I won't even go into Chinese pizza, done 'Western' style, with a crust made from phyllo pastry. Then again, I know for a fact chicken balls and chop suey aren't Chinese. Don't even try. Cultural conventions sometimes confuse me.

Saturday night in Guangzhou, and it's flashy city lights, warm summer air, streets lined with Western boutique stores, and people, just people all everywhere. Walking up and down the well-kempt streets that are cleaner than most in Toronto, I am enticed by heavy bass-beat music and trendy girls clad in fake eyelashes and short shorts. Yet again, I'm reminded, that this isn't the China that most people would associate with communism. In fact, with stores most Westerners would run to, restaurants even the most discerning palate would
consider, and nightlife that is vibrant and varied, I am reminded yet again that pre-conceived notions usually do not ring true.

I am not going to say "what is wrong" with this picture, as that is culturally insensitive.

Instead, I'm going to comment on what happened here.

First of all, what is this?

It's a health check. Head to toe, inside and out for anything 'wrong' with me.

I'm not going to go into my social and political stance on singling out people on that basis, because that is too controversial. Instead, I will detail my most surprising (and uncomfortable) experience as a Westerner.

I was not aware that upon my acceptance of employment here, I was supposed to go through a test which consisted of screening most everything, from blood, to heart rate, to ultrasounds, to a GIANT xray. Imagine this. There is a language barrier, so you are a little out of the loop as to what is going on. They throw you into a grey room. Nothing is explained to you. The man who segways the whole thing leaves, and slams the door shut. You are asked to stand on a machine that makes a disturbing ground-shaking noise and moves around you intermittently, unpredictably, to screen what is 'wrong' with you.

After the test, the man opens the door, and tells you to go to the 'next room,' which also consists of a single doctor or technician. The first thing this complete stranger demands? 'Take off your clothes.' Not 'this is now what we will do to you.' Just take them off, straight off.

WHAT? This cycle repeats itself about 8 times, once for every doctor, once for every test--different for each test.

I realize we are living a very cushy, advantageous environment in North America, where we are babied and pampered. Everything is explained, everything is careful, everything caters to our need to know. Here, it is all business. Not that the language barrier helped....but it was not pleasant for a Westerner, getting poked and prodded at.

Lastly, what if there WAS something wrong with me (which there wasn't)...should I be judged against in the workplace for being ill or blind or deaf? Does this reduce my intelligence or ability to do my work? Why is this a criteria for employment or entering the country? I am very confused.

Wait, let me take this a step further. I have noticed a HUGE rate of pregnancy in this country, despite the one child rule (if you have more than one child here, you are fined). Yet...several of the tests for foreigners are for STDs. So, why, in a country where people obviously do not use protection, and procreate at such a quick rate, are they worried about foreigners having STDs--foreigners who are likely just as worried about such illnesses (or am I being presumptuous here?). I don't want to sound like an undereducated, ill-exposed asshole...I am just a little surprised at the extent of screening here. I feel it is again, another double standard.

I forgot to mention here, while on the topic of sex, that Westerners are perceived to be 'loose,' due to the incessant exposure of locals to sex-ridden R-rated films (sold as bootleg DVDs on side street stands). I don't get this stereotype as much because I am physically Asian, but you should see the attention foreigners who are not Asian receive...It's quite mind-boggling.

My final conclusion--I understand the need to regulate a country's health from foreigners...I think we are all just as cautious via pills and vaccinations. However, I just felt this 'traumatizing' medical exam to be a little over-the-top.

By the way, my blood type is 'O'. I didn't know that before. Haha

8 min sketch on Beijiao street corner. "I'm not sure this is the paradise the palm trees imply"

This is a sketch I did in the Guangzhou harbour. I like ropes...a lot. lol, enough said.